Door-to-Door Hamptons Doctor Will Top Off Fillers While Testing for Coronavirus

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A Hamptons doctor is doing his bit to offer comfort in these trying times by going mansion-to-mansion in a hazmat suit swabbing the wealthy for coronavirus before stabbing their faces with syringes full of age-reversing poison.\n

New York Post
.
And while other doctors call this idea dangerous and ill-advised, as the antibody tests have a false negative rate of around 15 percent
and going from beach house to beach house wielding needles is a good way to thoroughly spread a virus,
Dr. Goldberg says that these rich people deserve
the option to die at home doing what they love—compulsively throwing money at their own vanity?
“Health is the number one concern but people still want to feel good and look good even if they’re home,” Goldberg told the
Post
. “Just by leaving the house, there’s a risk, so treating patients at home minimizes that.”
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Or maybe it doesn’t, who can say—beyond all the other medical professionals who say this is absolutely a bad idea. But if
The Masque of the Red Death
taught us anything, it’s that ultra-rich people have earned the right to invite mysterious strangers into their homes during times of contagion.
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